Spoof

Bicycle

One day there is a girl who has name Mary. Today is her birthday. So, she was on the way back home with happily. When she arrive at home, she saw a new bicycle and a greeting card beside it. With smile she’s looking for her parents but she couldn’t find them, and she think ‘hmm, this present must be for me’

Because she can’t wait her parents to came home, she drive that bicycle and going around her house.

“Is this your new bicycle?” ask her nneighbour.

“Yes, this is my birthday present from my parents” answer Mary with smile.

                When she play with the new bicycle, her parents come home from market.  Mary walk up to her parents and said, “Thanks mom and dad” .

Her parents confuse and ask her, “Thanks for what, Mary?”.

Mary answer with smile, “Thank you for the bicycle, although it’s a little bit too small for me, but I’m happy with this present, it seem it’s expensive”

“I’m sorry Mary, this bicycle is not for you,“ answer her mother.

Mary was so surprissed. “So, this is for who? there is a greeting card with my name in it”

Her mom laugh and said “Yeah, there is your name in it, but this is not for you. This is for your father’s monkey and it’s name Mary too. She have same birthday like you. So, your father give her a present”. 

This is Monas, Sir

One day at the monument, there is an old man who was senile. He stood at the curb and stopping a cab. After the cab stopped, he got into the taxi. "Take me to the Monas ya?," said the old man.

"Monas sir? You have been in the Monas, sir." taxi driver said in confused. The old man then took his wallet, to pay ten thousand, and gave it to the taxi driver. As he opened the cab door to go out, the old man said, "Next time if you take a old man, don't speeding-speeding ya ..."

I'm The Boss

One day the boss of the world's largest companies complained at a meeting, the employees don't give attention to his. No one responded when he told  funny story. He became a feel disrespected. Then the next day, the boss was carrying name tag that read "I'm the Boss".

Then he gathering to his employees and show off it to them.

"I'm the boss here. So laugh every time I start to tell the story lucuku "

"But Mr. .." said the secretary.

"There are no buts. No one can or dare to fight me. Eventhough my wife "

"But sir, your wife just called. He told you to give back her name tag that you are  bring today "

Expression Dialogue

by: Ayu Septri, Dara Ervinda Waluyan, Lidyana Utami

One day there is a patient liver disease talk to her friend in a room in the hospital

Dara       :Lidyana,  my friend, could you come to me?

Lidyana : what's up?

Dara       : it's so painful, i can't to get up from here (bed).   i really need your help right  now.

Lidyana : what can i do for you?

Dara       : i had a best friend, and i had hurt herself. now i really want her to forgive me. could you looking her for me? i don't have much time

Lidyana : who is she?

Dara       : she is Ayu, you know about her, right? could you?

Lidyana : oke, with me pleasure. But you must wait for me. okay?

After that, Lidyana  goes to Ayu's house

Lidyana  : Assalamu'alaikum, Ayu, do you at home?

Ayu        : ya, who are you? oh Lidyana! What's up?

Lidyana : join with me, right now!

Ayu        : where do we go?

Lidyana : Dara wants to meet you right now

Ayu        : Who? Dara? i don't want to meet her. she was hurt myself

Lidyana  : oh, please. she wants to ask your forgiveness.

Ayu        : No, there is no for her.

Lidyana : oh, come on. she almost, .. die. maybe it can be the last time.

Ayu        : ....... okay

Then, Lidyana and Ayu come to meet Dara. Seeing Dara in her bed,

Ayu        : what happen? how can it be like this?

Dara       : i had acute liver disease. .... i don't have much time, could you forgive me for all my mistakes? please.

Ayu        : of course! how pityful i am if i don't want to forgive you. you're my best friend

Dara       : (smiling) thank you Ayu, i want to ask your forgiveness Lidyana, and thanks for all your helps. i must go now. i feel happy because you forgive me. thank you. (die)

Ayu        : Dara..! hey..! Wake up! Come on..! (Crying)

Conditional Sentences

Conditional Sentences Type 1

1. If she sweep, I will moop.
2. If my sister is cry, I will comfort her.
3. If my pocket money is run out, I will ask the money to my mom.
4. I will hear if you speak.
5. I will ask my friend's food if I don't have money.

Conditional Sentences Type 2

1. If I were President, school fees would be free.
2. If I were Mayor, roads would be repaired.
3. If the LOVE is the KING, then the HEART is the CASTLE.
4. If I were rich, I would bring my parents around the world.
5. If you was mine, I would be happy.

Conditional Sentences Type 3

1. If he hadn't came, I wouldn't have gone.
2. If he had broke my heart, I would have cried.
3. If you hadn't like rice, I would have given bread to you.
4. If you had promise, you would have kept it.
5. If she hadn't made homework, her mom would have beaten her.

Son of Stealth

Many years ago, there lived a stealth king presided over a kingdom of supernatural world. People is a collection of stealth, ghosts, and demons. The invisible king's son has only one special. Later his son would uphold truth and justice. The child will inherit the throne of his father and became the leader of the wise and prudent. This invisible king had 4 warriors stealth into his beliefs. 4 consists of stealth warrior lion as a symbol of courage, stealth ferret as a symbol of hard work, the snake as a symbol of agility, and stealth eagle as a symbol of wisdom.

One day, due to jealousy of the leaders of the devil, then there was war between demons and devils. The devil wants to master and take over of the kingdom. After a tense battle, the army eventually defeated the army of the demon king of stealth. But the king of demons, the only demon who survived, managed to infiltrate the palace and kidnapped the boy king of demons who were aged five months. Then the demon king's escape into the world of humans and disguise became human. King of stealth who knows that her son is lost immediately dispatched four warriors were stealth.

The four warriors was only found traces of the child after searching for 15 years. In the human world, the child was named Paijo. The child was in school at one high school in the city of Pontianak, West Borneo, Indonesia. He lived with a man named Tumejo. The boy had a bad temperament. He just had a friend who is always with him. Having had quite a lot of information and with careful consideration of the four musketeers went into the human world and disguised as a teacher in a child's school.

Slowly it began to approach the four musketeers Paijo with their role as teachers. And there came a day, Paijo dragged face to face with four of them. He was told that he was the son of the king of stealth is lost. Fourth person claimed is a demon in disguise. Of course Paijo feel insecure. He considered the fourth man was a lunatic. Paijo ran from the front four of them. And furthermore, four of them must strive to prove to Paijo. Until one day, Paijo be beaten by a gang in the school. The gang was 15 members. That is because the old grudges headmen. Paijo beaten in secret that no one knew it even though his best friend. Paijo kicked, beaten, and even almost killed. When pressed why Paijo suddenly felt a force that possessed her. Enormous power. He felt he could fly, it can even beat the 15 people at once. From this incident, Paijo be believed in the words of four people who intangibles like his teacher the other day.

Paijo then came to meet that four person and admitted that he believe. Then the four men were told about the incident from the beginning until they are forced to disguise. Paijo then said to the king of stealth. But four of them to prevent them. They say that Paijo not ready. Four warriors must be taught about everything before Paijo back and ready to inherit the throne of his father. Each stealth teach what they have to Paijo with the exercises.

One day Paijo invites his friend to the house. He already tell the friend that what happened to him. Paijo will show somethings to his friend. But when he got home, Tumejo already suspicious of unusual activity Paijo, then asked Paijo what really happened. Then Paijo was told everything. Tumejo was angry. He then dragged Paijo and tie. Tejo friend, who out of his sight, escape and immediately reported to the four teachers who actually is the swordsman's four. Immediately, the four musketeers went into the house and dealing with Tumejo Paijo. Tumejo there waiting. When the four warriors came, Tumejo suddenly transformed into a scary figure. The figure is similar to the devil. Apparently Tumejo is demon king who had escaped and disguised. And it was he who kidnapped Paijo from the hand of the king of stealth. Then the four warriors were also transformed into their original form. There followed a fierce fight. Four warriors were overwhelmed by the demon king. Demon king was still the same strength with the first. Then the four warriors that was lost. King of the devil tried to kill four people. When that happens, Paijo once again feel the power that never entered into him. Paijo directly blocking demon king and led a duel. Paijo and as powerful demon king. After a fierce battle, eventually Paijo can kill the demon king by attacking his weaknesses. The armpit hair of king demon should not be revoked. Then the demon king was died for forever.

Mandi Safar

Mandi Safar (mandi means bath) is a tradition ceremony in Ketapang, West Borneo which is done by many people. This tradition is hold on the secong month (Safar month) in Islamic calendar. This ceremony is hold because many people believe that Safar is a dangerous month. So, the purpose of Mandi Safar is to purify ourself to avoid danger.

The origins of Mandi Safar is taken from many accident in Safar month. For example, Nuh's ship was saved from flood, Ibrahim was avoided from the fire, Musa and Harun were escaped from the pursuit Firaun's army.

The ritual process of Mandi Safar is started since early morning on Wednesday of the last week in Safar until Thursday (the next day). Generally, the implementation of the Mandi Safar can be categorized in two places, in houses (in bathroom) and not in the houses ( like beach, lake, river).

There are many things that must be prepared before doing Mandi Safar. Such as, tolak bala's water, is a clean water that we use to take a bath. And then, the water has been prayed. This water will be drungk by people who follow the ritual. And then, menjuang's leaf that written with Arabic languange from Al-Quran is called "Salamun Tujuh" (salamun means presperous, tujuh means seven). And the last, ketupat and traditional cakeare used as interaction media between people that do Mandi Safa. One person will change his/her ketupat and cake to other person.

Before the event be held, the chief/grandmaster lead and pray to God for safety and to avoid them from danger. This pray called "Doa Salamun Tujuh". This pray means hope for presperous to all of nature, say thanks to apostle who avoid from danger, and for avoid themself from danger that occured in unfortunate day, which began rising of the sun on Wednesday until the next day (Thursday).

People who will follow the Mandi Safar ritual mustn't do a job with high risk, not work on the sea, and not hurt the animal.




Source : http://melayuonline.com/ind/culture/dig/2537/upacara-adat-mandi-safar-pada-masyarakat-ketapang-kalimantang-barat

Wrist-Watch

The wrist-watch is one of my favourite things. The wrist-watch is useful to show the time who attached at hand. There are two types of wrist-watch are analog and digital. This stuff is very simple to carry anywhere. Even wrist-watches can also be used to fashion. Now, may wrist-watch that have a variety of shapes and color. Even the wrist watch can show day, date, and year too.

SIOMAY

Siomai or somay are one type of dim sum. In Mandarin, this food is called shaomai. This food is derived from Inner Mongolia.

In Indonesia, there are many different types of siomai variations based on the meat for the contents like mackerel fish, chicken, shrimp, crab, or mixture of chicken and shrimp. Materials for the contents mixed with sago or tapioca. Siomai’s wrapping are similar with the skin of dumpling. But now, mostly siomay is not anymore wrapped.

Eggs and vegetables such as potato, and cabbage is also served with siomai. Tofu meatballs is also included into the type of siomai. Siomai (siomai Bandung) was served with the peanut sauce made ​​from peanuts are crushed and diluted with water. Seasoning for sauces such as chili, sugar, garlic, salt, and vinegar or lime. As presented, siomai be given additional soy sauce,bottle chili sauce, or ketchup.